Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

My gift to all of you is the hilarious Carol of the Bells segment from the California Raisins Holiday Special.

Enjoy!

Since there's no place to go...

Let it snow.

The variety of weather we get here is one of the only reasons remaining for me to actually enjoy living in Philadelphia.

This weekend we were hit with upwards of 17 inches of snow. I love that. And this pretty much assure us of a white Christmas because there is no way all of this will melt before Friday.

Although, it may be more of a murky, grey Christmas if the snow becomes that mushy, slushy crap that heavy traffic and rock salt usually turn it into.

Eh, oh well. For now, I'm enjoying staying inside and watching movies.

Wanted: "Portable Grindhouse: The Lost Art of the VHS Cover Box"

As a child of the VHS generation, I love-- LOVE-- retro VHS cover art. I can remember walking around the video store as a kid studying the cover boxes, especially those that were for films that I would never be allowed to see at that age. Two that stick out in my mind were Ruggierio Deodato's Cannibal Holocaust and George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead-- both of which I didn't get to see until I was in my twenties. Gee, perhaps that's why I have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with 1970's-80's horror?

Portable Grindhouse showcases a solid selection of cover boxes-- both well-known titles and some of the more off the wall titles. And I love the subtitle (The Lost Art of the VHS Cover Box), because that's what it was-- an art form. Looking at much of the shamefully bad cover art for DVD releases these days really makes you miss the days of Drew Struzan covers, replete with rippling muscles and oversized breasts on cartoonish versions of the movies stars of the day (Romancing the Stone, anyone?)

Needless to say, this book is a great Christmas gift for the film geek in your life. And if you don't have a film geek in your life, feel free to consider me the film geek in your life, because I would love to unwrap this book on Festivus.

Anyhow, watch the awkwardly silent video below for a better idea of what to expect.

And you can read more about the book and order it at the Fantagraphic books website.

New York City...

So, I went to New York yesterday to catch up with a friend. I got into town rather early, so I decided to walk around and perhaps do some shopping.

Then I found this guy.

Now, the two of us are best friends.

And yes, his catchy jingle was in my head all day.

P.S.-- This was the first time I was able to really try out my Kodak Zi-8. I have to say, it's pretty incredible considering the price and size. Certainly recommended for bloggers/vloggers.

Happy Halloween!

Let's face it, from Halloween to Christmas is the greatest time of the year. It's full of parties, food, booze and loads of chances for us all to act like kids (read: idiots) again. Personally, I still go out for Halloween... with my nieces and nephews, of course. But it's still an opportunity to dress like a jackass and not only get away with it, but in some cases actually have it make you the life of the party.

Another great thing about this time of year is the number of horror films playing on cable at any given moment. Now, watching horror films is certainly not a seasonal even for yours truly. However, Halloween is the only time that I can usually convince others to join me in the terrifying fun.

So my question is this...

When you are perusing cable channels or looking at the DVD shelf, which video nasties catch your eye? Personally, I am partial to classic 1980's horror. Carpenter, Fred Dekker, Romero, Argento, Coscarelli... these are the guys I look to for some real Halloween fun. How about you?

Happy Halloween!

The Little Boy and the Old Man

So, It's been a little while since I've posted anything. I've been writing something new that's taken up a lot of my time, and with getting ready to teach my first college course, I've been a little busy. However, I didn't want to just make up some stupid nonsense to post-- so I figured instead I'd post one of my all time favorite poems.

It's a Shel Silverstein piece that means a lot to me, and was a constant source of inspiration while I was writing my last screenplay. Anyone who has had the chance to read that script will understand why.

The poem is called The Little Boy and the Old Man.

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."

Said the old man, "I do that, too."

The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."

"I do that too," laughed the little old man.

Said the little boy, "I often cry."

The old man nodded, "So do I."

"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems

Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."

And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.

"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

Monster Mania 13 is this weekend...

This weekend the ever-growing horror convention known as Monster-Mania will be held at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Cherry Hill, NJ. I've been to this show five times before (including the last show in Cromwell, Connecticut) and honestly, it's always a really good time. I've never considered myself someone who would enjoy going to "fan conventions"-- and in a way, I do go about the show in different way than many fans. For one, I'm not much of an autograph maven. I don't begrudge those who wait in line to pay for their favorite stars autograph, but it's just not for me.

What I enjoy about the show are the dealer tables at which you can find some unique and truly hard to find films. Considering a lot of the lesser known horror films of my youth were not given the official DVD treatment, dealers at the show have taken it upon themselves to create these DVD's, either from VHS copies or sometimes from HD television broadcasts.

Oh, and there is one other reason I enjoy Monster-Mania so much-- I write for the official Monster-Mania Magazine. Editor Dave Hagan does a really good job with the mag, giving it the full-color, glossy treatment. The upcoming issue contains my retrospective article on the Nightmare on Elm Street series as a feature story. And hey-- if you can't make it to the show, you can always support your local Jon and order the mag online (www.monstermania.net) or pick it up at you local Barnes & Noble.

I'll report back after the weekend with any pertinent info about the 

show, and how the reaction to the new issue is going. Check out the promo for the magazine below.

Artist Spotlight: Drew Falchetta

On a recent movie trip to the Ritz at the Bourse I happened to come across artist Drew Falchetta's work. His art was on the pre-show slide show. Since that day his paintings have become the staple background image on my both my iPhone and my Mac. Needless to say I really enjoy his work. His paintings are interesting and dramatic, often evoking a sense of narrative despite their apparent simplicity. They're somewhat reminiscent of the pop culture inspired pieces that director Kevin Smith showcased in his extremely interesting pop art exhibit he hosted at Gallery 1988.

With images that run the gamut from serenely benign, to oddly funny and even a few that are outright macabre, Falchetta's work seemed to always leave me wondering about where the stories his paintings tell might lead. And he does all of this with a style that is at once basic and challenging. It's the kind of work that some cynics may look at and say, "I could do that." However, like many deceptively simple films and photographs, it's not necessarily the subject of the piece, but rather the context and treatment that give it real value and depth.

I'm also happy to relate the fact that Falchetta is a local artist, residing in the area of Philadelphia made famous by Rocky-- South Philly.

Give the pieces I've included a look. He's a very interesting and approachable young artist. We need more people like him to get mainstream noteriety so they can remain free to create art that attracts, engages and amuses the way his does. 

You can view more work and learn more about Drew Falchetta at his website, www.drewfalchetta.com

    

This just in: Michael Jackson is weird

This is a preview of the cancelled Michael Jackson estate auction. The guy who hosts the tour is pretty damn funny and, as if we didn't already know this, M.J.'s belongings are very, very strange. 

Pay special attention to the animatronic baby (sans index finger) and the statues out front of the auction house.

Not the typical post for my site, but this video tickled me, so I thought I'd share.

Enjoy.

Amazing "Watchmen" Viral Ad

This is some sort of viral ad for the theatrical release of "Watchmen." It's really an amazing video, considering it was all done with aerosol spray paint. 

Dare I say, it's slightly more compelling than the film it's meant to advertise? Oh, I dare say indeed. 

Give it a look.

Cool Commercial: Acura's "Bodies in Motion" campaign

I've caught this commercial a few times over the past week or so. It's a rather beautiful and effective ad campaign for Acura's new line of vehicles. 

Every time I see it, I find myself rewinding so I can watch it again. That got me thinking-- if only more commercials looked this good, perhaps I wouldn't DVR the few shows that I watch, so I can skip past the commercials.

Happy Earth Day

I thought I'd celebrate Earth day with this pretty awesome clip of a fox hunting for it's prey under a thick sheet of snow. Really cool.

By the way, did you know that one of the people responsible for creating Earth Day is now a convicted murderer? Strange but true.

I'm sorry-- did that suck the fun out of it? Oh well.

Now go buy a ticket for Disney Nature's "Earth", would you...

Writer's Block? I got your cure.

Like any writer, I sometimes get bogged down in what’s referred to as “writer’s block.” Truth be told, writer’s block is often times a bunch of bullshit. When we, as writers, “suffer” from a block, it’s usually either because we (A.) simply don’t know what to write or, don’t know how to write it, (B.) there’s an inherent story problem in what we’ve already written that needs to be addressed or (C.) we’re just making excuses for just refusing to make time to write.

However, sometimes all it takes to get your writing going is a fire under your ass– regardless of whether or not the source of said fire is real or … well, virtual. And it just so happens that the one I’m speaking of  is indeed virtual.

A writer friend of mine turned me on to “Dr. Wicked’s Writing Lab” and, specifically, a program offered for free on the site that is sure to keep you writing… and writing fast. The “Write or Die” application lets you set parameters, such as the amount of words you need to get written, and the time in which you want them written. From there, it’s just left to you to get writing. And hey– if you decide to take a break to, you know, figure out just the right words to start that next sentence, the “write or die” app simply starts erasing what you’ve already written. That’s right– if you don’t just keep getting words on paper, you’re punished by losing that which you’ve already written. It’s maddening– but its also just what some writers need to get that first draft committed to paper. 

Now, it’s not for everyone. Of course there are going to be some who are simply not up to the challenge of having such a strict taskmaster. To those people I say, get a different hobby. Two of the greatest strengths a writer can develop are writing on demand, and keeping a deadline. This application lets you put yourself on immediate deadlines that you damn well better keep, unless you enjoy seeing your hard earned word count drain off the page like so much water down the drain.

Once you're done writing whatever it is that you’re using the app for, you simply copy the text to your clipboard, and paste it into whichever document editing program you desire. And let me tell you, this has come in very handy when I’m trying to get something written that I’m not exactly looking forward to writing– like a grad school essay or a… um… blog post.

That’s right– this very post was written using “write or die.” And I’m glad to say that only once did I lose a few words. And that was only because I was so overcome by the genius raging forth from my furious typing. Or not.

So, if you’re a writer-type, and sometimes have trouble finishing what you start, give this program a try.  It’s a great little tool to help you get those ideas down on paper without over-thinking every single words as you write it. 

Now go get writing.

Twitter away the hours in an offhand way...

I've just now realized how infrequently I've been blogging lately. 5 whole posts in March-- wow. And you know-- I could make a ton of excuses, like school and writing and work, but I won't. I've always had those distractions, and it never really stopped me before. So, what has kept me from blogging properly? 

Micro-blogging.

That's right, Twitter. It's the new Facebook (which itself was the new Myspace) and it seems like everyone and their mother is tweeting. Literally.

In some ways I think Twitter is really cool. It's like a shared stream of consciousness with many friends at once, that has no end. It's just a string of random thoughts and ideas. In that way I like it.

What I don't like is that in tweeting all the time, I seem to put actual meaningful blogging on the back burner. (Meaningful blogging? Is there really such a thing?) That review of a DVD I watched last night? Why blog about it when I can simply tweet "Watched "Yes Man" last night... it was SHIT." You can see my dilemma.

So, now I've been forced to figure out which of my opinions/reviews are tweet worthy, and which belong on my proper blog in a longer... um... short form. I suppose this is symptomatic of today's culture... 

Indulge me, if you will, in a momentary bit of rant-ish blogging...

My generation lives in a culture of crippling self-delusional pseudo-celebrity. It's okay... I'm part of it, too. Why else do we have MySpace, and Facebook and Twitter to let other people know what we're doing, all the time, every single day? Honestly. Who gives a shit. In fact, why are you reading this right now? 

Okay, wait.  That may have been a bit hasty. But you know what I mean. 

I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm going to try to step up the (real) blogging once again. And I'll let all of you know the second I have a new post up on the ol' blog by... y'know... tweeting about it.

The problem(s) with "The Office"

"The Office" is one of two shows that I make sure to see every single week. The other one is "Lost." And while narrative wormholes and unanswered questions are an integral part of the latter, I don't think it was an intended part of "The Office." Yet there are many questions that need be answered:

1.) If the whole show is based upon the idea of a film crew following the daily life of an American office, that's fine. But this device seems to have faded away, and the cameras have now become an omnipresent, sometimes invisible witness to the daily dramas in the office. Unless, that is, the camera can be used for comedic value. Which is it? Is there a documentary crew, or no? And this brings me to my next point...

2.) Are we supposed to feel like personal friends of Jim and Pam? Because the show has begun to lean heavily on awkward glances, and deadpan stares from both of them. It's like some sort of "Lady in the Lake", first person complicity that is lacking in the other 90% of the show. Jim and Pam are never the butt of the joke and, on this show, that makes them boring. And speaking of...

3.) Jim and Pam. Honestly-- how arrogant and annoying can two characters be? Once they got together as a couple, that storyline was finished. Their only function thee days is to look at the cameras (and us, the viewers) with a look of, "Can you believe this...?" And it's old. Really old.

4.) Michael Scott is way, way, WAY too over the top.

Sometimes.

Which is what I find so annoying. Ricky Gervais' "David Brent" was a jerk, and a heel,  but deep down he had a sympathetic core. Michael Scott seems to just be a human manifestation of Homer Simpson, at some points going so far off the stupidity charts that it ruins an entire episode (such as when he drove into a lake because the GPS told him to turn.) Are we to believe that he is so unbelievably stupid, that simple functions of basic intelligence are too much for him? But then, there are moments of clarity for the character, where you do see a glimmer of humanity, and you think, "Hmm...?"But those scenes are so few and far between, I've become convinced that they happen accidentally.

4.) The Angela/Dwight affair ruined those two characters. First off, Angela-- of course she was an  annoying, teetotaling bitch, but the affair made her something worse in my eyes-- a cheater. And the man she cuckolded, Andy, is one of the only genuinely likable characters on the show. When do Angela and Dwight get their comeuppance? Where is the payoff to the affair? And Dwight-- Well, that's another thing...

5.) Dwight, Dwight, Dwight... you know, it was sort of unfair, because I came into the series immediately convinced that Rainn Wilson would merely attempt to do the impossible-- to top Mackenzie Crook's "Gareth" from the BBC "Office".  And, to his credit, he has done enough to differentiate the character, and has come up with some genuinely funny moments. However, he too often falls back on the hacky, over-used Dwight bits-- you know, over-emphasizing words for comedic effect, being awed by ninjas and karate and all that Will Ferrell-ish, Man-Boy stuff that has been old for a few years now. It's old, too easy and smacks of laziness.

6.) Problems with other "Office" denizens:

a.) Kevin-- someone told him that talking slowly, and over-emphasizing words in comic gold. Someone was wrong.

b.) Meredith-- The whole drunken whore thing strikes me as less funny, and more sad and annoying.

c.) Stanley-- the man has never made me laugh. He's just a grumpy old prick.

d.) Ryan-- His character has gone through a complete transformation from when he first started. They should have let him go when the whole arrest thing happened. His story-line is dead.

So, after all of that, I still want to say I like the show. I mean, it's possible to like a show and still be cognizant of it's problems. When the show is on-- it can be really good! But it seems that Ricky Gervais may have been on to something by only having 2 seasons (plus the Special) of the original series. Did it leave me wishing for a third season? Yes. But I think he knew that there was only so much you could do with the concept. A lesson that the American version may end up learning the hard way. If, by the hard way, I mean by making millions upon millions of dollars, I suppose.

Nothing like running a good show into the ground. What do you think?

"Kittens" inspired by Kittens

This is my favorite video currently on the entire internet. 

Is there an oscar for YouTube clips?

R U Professional?

This one came to my attention thanks to Jay Cheel of the Film Junk Podcast. It's a mash-up of the Christian Bale blow-up on the set of "Terminator: Salvation." All I have to say about that is, what a douche. And I like Christian Bale as an actor-- a lot! But, come on buddy, it's a Terminator movie. And I know-- he's a method actor and all that. But there's a line, and he went way beyond what should be considered acceptable-- on a film set or otherwise.

And, you have to wonder if, in retrospect, Bale is struck by the irony of his asking if someone else is professional, whilst in the middle of his horrific, expletive-filled, completely unprofessional tirade?

Anyhow, this song is the work of a band called The Mae Shi. And for a bit of audio that was released just over 24 hours ago, this is pretty damn good. 

So, I hope you enjoy the mash-up-- because the object of Bale's ire, Director of Photography Shane Hurlbut, sure as shit didn't enjoy the original version.

Double Dipped? Again?

My favorite film of all time is Carol Reed's masterpiece "The Third Man." I watched my VHS copy so many times I literally almost wore the tape out-- It really is that good. (I only ever did that to one other VHS tape-- Luc Besson's "The Professional")

The first time the film was released in a deluxe edition was in the initial wave of Criterion discs, back when Criterion was only releasing Laserdiscs. Now, I'm not old enough to have purchased Laserdiscs, but I know that they were somewhere near $100 bucks a piece. (Of course, now that Laserdiscs are laughably outdated, I was able to grab the disc on Ebay for about $8.00)

So, my first real chance at the Criterion disc for myself was when it was released on DVD. And you better believe I bought it right up-- despite it's $38.99 price tag. Hey-- I'm a hard-workin' guy, and as such, I treat my self now and again.

Cut to three years later, and I get news of yet another, newer Criterion release of "The Third Man." Hmm. Well, Like I said, it is my favorite film. So of course, when it came out, I bought it. Luckily I was able to nab it for a "steal"-- $32.99. And, though the disc does now include a really cool commentary by Steven Soderbergh, that's about the only change that I've noticed. = I really don't mind the double dip too much, because now I see that I am sort of collecting the various versions of the film-- (so far, VHS, Laserdisc, Criterion DVD 1, Criterion DVD 2.)

But now, we all know the new high point of home video viewing is Blu-Ray. And I admit, it is amazing. No argument. But (ahem) now they're rolling out the first wave of Criterion Blu-Ray discs, and guess what film is one of the first titles available. That's right-- "The Third Man."

So, here are my questions:

1.) Do I buy it? I mean, I'm anal, and it'll irk me that this would be the only version that I don't own. And though it's the exact same version as the second Criterion release, this one is blu-ray. You simply will not beat the picture and sound of a blu ray disc.

2.) Am I an idiot? I mean, am I playing right into the hands of the Home Video industry?

The sad truth is, I'm going to buy it. There never was a real doubt about that. But I'm still interested to see what people think about the double dip, or in this case, the double-double dip. Let me know where you stand by filling out your answer below. 

Monster Mania 12

That's right, it's been about 6 months, and you know what that means-- Monster Mania is just around the corner. This convention is one of my ultimate guilty pleasures, and I'd be excited for it in any case, but this time I'm particularly excited. As far as I know, the next issue of Monster Mania Magazine will be available at the show. This is the issue that will include my retrospective article detailing the history of the "Friday the 13th" series. After it's published, I'll post it here for all to read. Until then-- buy your own copy!

This time around the focus of the convention is (obviously) on Friday the 13th. With the reboot film coming out in a few weeks, I suppose they're trying to wedge themselves back into the public consciousness in any way possible. I'm all for it-- I'm excited for the new film (even though, a true reboot would not include Jason in the first film, but I digress...) And, yes, I still love the old "Fridays", as well-- all 8 or 9 or 15 of 'em.

In addition to "Friday" guests, other appearances will include Tobe Hooper ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre"), Alice Cooper (Heavy Metal Legend and, of course, John Carpenter's "Prince of Darkness"), Caroline Williams (Stretch from one of my faves, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2") and even... Fairuza Balk... of, uh... "The Craft."

But, anyway...

The convention is at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Cherry Hill, New Jersey over the weekend of March 13-15. It's always a good time, and who knows... you may run into me on Saturday. I'll be the one in the full Freddy Kreuger make-up.

Kidding.

Check out more about Monster Mania here.

"I thought you'd be taller."

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a special place in my heart for Snake Plissken. So, when I came across this picture, I just knew I would have to share it.

Now that, my friends, is one badass fin.